"Give it away to keep it" is more than just a saying in recovery—it’s a guiding principle suggesting that the best way to sustain our own sobriety is by helping others. Why, exactly, do we place such a heavy emphasis on this topic in the recovery world?

"Give it away to keep it" is a recovery saying meaning that we can’t maintain sobriety over the long haul without freely giving away what was given to us. By helping others on their journey, we get out of ourselves, build vital self-esteem, and begin to have a spiritual experience.

This is, in many ways, the core concept of recovery discovered by Dr. Bob and Bill W. as they began their journey: we stay sober by one alcoholic helping another.

Why we must “give it away”

Nobody enters recovery because they’re excited to help others. In fact, many of us weren’t even all that excited to help ourselves when we first got sober!

However, we would submit to you that giving it away is not just a kind gesture – it’s a vital part of maintaining our own recovery.

When we help others, we:

• Get out of our own heads
• Experience self-esteem, often for the first time in years
• Reinforce the lessons we’ve learned along the way

The truth is, we are still doing this for ourselves. We get sober because something in our lives, resulting from our drug use, is causing us pain that we’d rather not experience anymore. Whether great or small, we’ve all had consequences in our past that we remember when we “play the tape” of why we don’t use anymore.

However, we often talk in recovery about the fact that ultimately, it was our self-centeredness that caused us so much trouble. So much so, that we’ve got a phrase for that as well:

The root of our troubles …

If our 12-step sponsors or mentors are savvy, one of the things they walked us through was the inverse relationship between our level of self-centeredness and our willingness to freely serve others in recovery.

A quick read through page 60-63 of the Big Book should remind us of the troubles we made for ourselves through not just drinking, but our self-serving attitudes. We’ll quote a portion of this here:

“So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!”

THIS is the reason we emphasize “giving it away” so much. By freely giving away the experience, strength, and hope we’ve gleaned from our experience in recovery, we begin to reverse our natural tendency towards self-centeredness and self-delusion.

What, exactly, are we giving back?

Giving back goes far beyond material gifts or financial contributions – it’s about sharing the intangible yet invaluable parts of your journey. We give back our time by showing up for others, listening without judgment, and being present in their moments of need.

We share our stories—honest accounts of struggles, failures, and triumphs—that can inspire and guide someone who may feel lost or alone, just like our sponsors and friends did when they were new.

We also give back hope, the belief that change is possible and that recovery is worth pursuing. This act of giving instills a sense of purpose, reminding us that our pain and progress can serve a greater good. By offering empathy, understanding, and support, we create a ripple effect of healing that strengthens not only others but ourselves as well.

How long sober do I need before I “give it away?”

The beauty of giving it away is that it doesn’t require years of sobriety – think of that initial meeting between Dr. Bob and Bill W. that kickstarted the Alcoholics Anonymous way of life (and by proxy, the entire 12 step philosophy). Neither man had much time sober or wisdom to share. Bill simply relayed his story to Bob, which sparked a mutual love and concern for each others’ wellbeing!

You don’t need to be on the 12th step to give back. Whether you’ve been sober for one week, one month, or one year, your journey can already inspire and support others. Early in recovery, giving back might look like simply showing up to meetings, sharing your experiences honestly, being a supportive presence for someone else, or giving someone a ride home after the meeting.

As you grow in your sobriety, your ability to give back will naturally expand, allowing you to sponsor others, lead meetings, or participate in service projects. The key is not how much time you’ve been sober but your willingness to contribute and connect. Recovery is a shared experience, and even the smallest act of giving can have a profound impact on others and on yourself.

You see others better than they see themselves

Remember the phrase we often repeat, “others see you better than you see yourself?” This goes both ways. It’s often much easier to provide guidance, wisdom, and hope to another person in recovery than it is to provide it to ourselves.

The truth is, whether we’ve got ten days or ten years, we’re all continuing to rely on one another. From the folks who lead the meetings to the folks who make the coffee to the folks who sponsor the newcomers, this principle of giving back forms the basis for our entire fellowship!

How to give it away

Giving it away means finding ways to share your recovery journey and contribute to the growth and well-being of others. It doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming; even small gestures can make a big difference.

At its core, giving it away is about offering your time, support, and encouragement to help others who are walking a similar path. Below are some ideas for how to give back:

• Carry the message by sharing your experience in meetings regularly
• Exchange phone numbers with newcomers and check on them with phone calls or via text
• Share your story in speaker meetings or one-on-one with newcomers
• Ask about service positions that are open in your home group
• Reach out to newcomers
• Help a newcomer learn to have fun without using drugs or alcohol
• Sponsor others

There are many other ways to give back that we could come up with. This list should be enough to get you started.

Turns out, our sponsors were giving it away too…

When we think about the impact our sponsors and friends have had on our recovery, it’s easy to overlook one key fact: they were giving it away to us.

Whether they shared their time, good orderly direction, or simply a listening ear, their guidance was an act of service born from their own journey of recovery. They didn’t have to help us, but they chose to because they, too, understand the value of giving it away to keep it.

Recovery isn’t a solo mission but a shared experience. Their willingness to walk alongside us, offer insights, and challenge us to grow is a powerful reminder of how giving back sustains both the giver and the receiver.

In hindsight, the lessons they taught us were not just about staying sober but about paying it forward. They’ve shown us that the strength, hope, and tools they shared with us were gifts they once received—and that it’s now our turn to pass them on to someone else.

Through their example, we learn that giving it away is how we keep all of our recovery journeys alive and inspired, one person at a time.

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There’s no question about it, those of us in recovery have no shortage of great one-liners and acronyms to pull form at a moment’s notice! One of our favorites is an acronym for GOD: Good Orderly Direction.

Good Orderly Direction means seeking guidance from others in a recovery program who can provide clearer, healthier direction than we can provide ourselves. It emphasizes trusting the wisdom and experience of those who have walked the path before us. By leaning on this external support, we can overcome our own flawed thinking and grow in recovery.

In this article, we’ll discuss the meaning of the oft-repeated phrase, “Good Orderly Direction” and discuss some practical ways to incorporate it into your daily life if you’re working through developing your concept of a higher power.

What is Good Orderly Direction?

In recovery, we’re often told to seek Good Orderly Direction from others, and told it’s a good substitute for the word “God” in the steps. But what exactly does this mean, and can it truly serve as a power greater than ourselves?

The truth is that nobody enters recovery on a “winning streak.” When we arrive in the rooms of AA (or our 12-step support group of choice), it’s usually because we’re out of ideas. In this way, the 12-steps are typically the last think we want to be doing, even if some of us can admit to ourselves that it will ultimately be a good thing.

Most of us have been trying to live according to our own whims, whether we thought we were being prudent or not. We struggled to take direction from anyone, preferring to try to figure everything out on our own. The trouble? Living that way is exactly how we landed in recovery in the first place!

So, for recovery to be successful, we’ve got to accept some basic truths:

“Can’t fix broken thinking with broken thinking”

The reality is that we can’t solve the problems we’ve created or change our lives if we continue to use the same flawed logic and unhealthy mindsets that created those problems in the first place.

If we are to have any kind of success in recovery, we’ve got to accept that going it on our own isn’t cutting it – we need external perspectives, new tools, and different ways of thinking than the ones we had when we were getting high or drinking.

Others see you better than you see yourself

It’s this “broken thinking” that leads us to have massive blind spots when it comes to the potholes we step in, time and time again. Our self-perception is clouded by biases, insecurities, subconscious habits that make it nearly impossible to see ourselves clearly.

People outside of our own minds can perceive our strengths, our weaknesses, and the relative health of our behaviors much more clearly than we can, because they are objective. If these folks are also in recovery, getting their opinions and (good orderly) direction is the path forward.

This principle holds true whether we’re in our first 30 days, or we’ve got a year sober or more. This is precisely where the topic of “Good Orderly Direction” comes into play:

Good Orderly Direction: Meaning

The real meaning of the phrase Good Orderly Direction is that it’s direction sought from an outside source – one that sees us clearly, cares for our health and wellbeing, and has specific experience sorting through the exact problems we’re working so hard to work through in our own lives.

G.O.D. and the Group of Drunks (or Group of Dopefiends!)

So who, exactly, should we seek this direction from? For many of us, it’s the very people we’ve surrounded ourselves with in the program – the “Group of Drunks” or the “Group of Dopefiends,” depending on your fellowship!

For many of us, this becomes “God as we understand Him,” and it carries us through those tough moments as we work to stay sober.

While we certainly wouldn’t suggest you indiscriminately take advice from every single person you meet in the rooms, we’re generally surrounded by a core of caring, thoughtful, and experienced people in recovery the instant we attend our first meeting.

As they get to know us, our 12-step sponsors and friends in recovery become the very people who know us best. These are the people who can reliably be turned to for Good Orderly Direction.

Developing a “Safety Net”

We often tell newcomers to surround themselves with folks in recovery whose messages and stories resonate with them, and who they truly believe have their best interest at heart. Oftentimes, these are the people who see us better than we see ourselves.

If we can deliberately develop connections with three to five peers in recovery (in addition to our sponsors), then we can almost always have someone to call, share ideas with, and use as a sounding board for our ideas and plans.

Remember: Don’t take temporary for permanent

We’ve written about it in our article on the top tips for surviving early recovery, but it bears repeating: we can’t take temporary for permanent when it comes to getting sober.

Many things are about to change over the course of the next few months and years. As we grow in our understanding, clean house, and begin to develop the kinds of lives we wanted to live all along, we’ll grow to a place where we don’t need to be so rigid about outsourcing our decision-making skills to others.

The first year of recovery is full of ups, downs, spiritual experiences, and portions that can seem to drag on forever!

Praying for Good Orderly Direction

The 12 step program allows us to choose a God as we understand Him – there’s no “dime behind the nickel,” so to speak, saying that we’ve got to transition from one concept of God to another. However, most of us find that our concept of a higher power grows and changes over time.

As we grow in our spiritual awakening over the long term, many of us pray for Good Orderly Direction from our higher power, just as if we were seeking direction and answers from our sponsors or safety net.

We all need Good Orderly Direction (regardless of your higher power!)

Whether you believe in a traditional higher power or not, seeking Good Orderly Direction from those around us is something we all need in recovery! Trusting the insights and guidance of those around us is a thread woven all through the recovery journey.

For us in recovery, this means listening to our sponsors, taking our peers’ observations and advice to heart, and simply applying the principles of the 12 step program to our lives wherever possible.

Good Orderly Direction doesn’t require religious faith, but it does require participation in the process. If there’s something on your mind that’s been eating you up in your sobriety, reach out to someone today. Nobody has all the answers, but you may be pleasantly surprised at the relief you feel upon being honest with another, receiving, and taking direction!

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