"Give it away to keep it" is more than just a saying in recovery—it’s a guiding principle suggesting that the best way to sustain our own sobriety is by helping others. Why, exactly, do we place such a heavy emphasis on this topic in the recovery world?

"Give it away to keep it" is a recovery saying meaning that we can’t maintain sobriety over the long haul without freely giving away what was given to us. By helping others on their journey, we get out of ourselves, build vital self-esteem, and begin to have a spiritual experience.

This is, in many ways, the core concept of recovery discovered by Dr. Bob and Bill W. as they began their journey: we stay sober by one alcoholic helping another.

Why we must “give it away”

Nobody enters recovery because they’re excited to help others. In fact, many of us weren’t even all that excited to help ourselves when we first got sober!

However, we would submit to you that giving it away is not just a kind gesture – it’s a vital part of maintaining our own recovery.

When we help others, we:

• Get out of our own heads
• Experience self-esteem, often for the first time in years
• Reinforce the lessons we’ve learned along the way

The truth is, we are still doing this for ourselves. We get sober because something in our lives, resulting from our drug use, is causing us pain that we’d rather not experience anymore. Whether great or small, we’ve all had consequences in our past that we remember when we “play the tape” of why we don’t use anymore.

However, we often talk in recovery about the fact that ultimately, it was our self-centeredness that caused us so much trouble. So much so, that we’ve got a phrase for that as well:

The root of our troubles …

If our 12-step sponsors or mentors are savvy, one of the things they walked us through was the inverse relationship between our level of self-centeredness and our willingness to freely serve others in recovery.

A quick read through page 60-63 of the Big Book should remind us of the troubles we made for ourselves through not just drinking, but our self-serving attitudes. We’ll quote a portion of this here:

“So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!”

THIS is the reason we emphasize “giving it away” so much. By freely giving away the experience, strength, and hope we’ve gleaned from our experience in recovery, we begin to reverse our natural tendency towards self-centeredness and self-delusion.

What, exactly, are we giving back?

Giving back goes far beyond material gifts or financial contributions – it’s about sharing the intangible yet invaluable parts of your journey. We give back our time by showing up for others, listening without judgment, and being present in their moments of need.

We share our stories—honest accounts of struggles, failures, and triumphs—that can inspire and guide someone who may feel lost or alone, just like our sponsors and friends did when they were new.

We also give back hope, the belief that change is possible and that recovery is worth pursuing. This act of giving instills a sense of purpose, reminding us that our pain and progress can serve a greater good. By offering empathy, understanding, and support, we create a ripple effect of healing that strengthens not only others but ourselves as well.

How long sober do I need before I “give it away?”

The beauty of giving it away is that it doesn’t require years of sobriety – think of that initial meeting between Dr. Bob and Bill W. that kickstarted the Alcoholics Anonymous way of life (and by proxy, the entire 12 step philosophy). Neither man had much time sober or wisdom to share. Bill simply relayed his story to Bob, which sparked a mutual love and concern for each others’ wellbeing!

You don’t need to be on the 12th step to give back. Whether you’ve been sober for one week, one month, or one year, your journey can already inspire and support others. Early in recovery, giving back might look like simply showing up to meetings, sharing your experiences honestly, being a supportive presence for someone else, or giving someone a ride home after the meeting.

As you grow in your sobriety, your ability to give back will naturally expand, allowing you to sponsor others, lead meetings, or participate in service projects. The key is not how much time you’ve been sober but your willingness to contribute and connect. Recovery is a shared experience, and even the smallest act of giving can have a profound impact on others and on yourself.

You see others better than they see themselves

Remember the phrase we often repeat, “others see you better than you see yourself?” This goes both ways. It’s often much easier to provide guidance, wisdom, and hope to another person in recovery than it is to provide it to ourselves.

The truth is, whether we’ve got ten days or ten years, we’re all continuing to rely on one another. From the folks who lead the meetings to the folks who make the coffee to the folks who sponsor the newcomers, this principle of giving back forms the basis for our entire fellowship!

How to give it away

Giving it away means finding ways to share your recovery journey and contribute to the growth and well-being of others. It doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming; even small gestures can make a big difference.

At its core, giving it away is about offering your time, support, and encouragement to help others who are walking a similar path. Below are some ideas for how to give back:

• Carry the message by sharing your experience in meetings regularly
• Exchange phone numbers with newcomers and check on them with phone calls or via text
• Share your story in speaker meetings or one-on-one with newcomers
• Ask about service positions that are open in your home group
• Reach out to newcomers
• Help a newcomer learn to have fun without using drugs or alcohol
• Sponsor others

There are many other ways to give back that we could come up with. This list should be enough to get you started.

Turns out, our sponsors were giving it away too…

When we think about the impact our sponsors and friends have had on our recovery, it’s easy to overlook one key fact: they were giving it away to us.

Whether they shared their time, good orderly direction, or simply a listening ear, their guidance was an act of service born from their own journey of recovery. They didn’t have to help us, but they chose to because they, too, understand the value of giving it away to keep it.

Recovery isn’t a solo mission but a shared experience. Their willingness to walk alongside us, offer insights, and challenge us to grow is a powerful reminder of how giving back sustains both the giver and the receiver.

In hindsight, the lessons they taught us were not just about staying sober but about paying it forward. They’ve shown us that the strength, hope, and tools they shared with us were gifts they once received—and that it’s now our turn to pass them on to someone else.

Through their example, we learn that giving it away is how we keep all of our recovery journeys alive and inspired, one person at a time.

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